I hope this is the bottom, and there’s only one way left to go. I would hate for there to be something lower in my future. I’ve certainly had a tough time here in Taiwan. I have little doubt that there will be a good amount of turbulence ahead, before moving back to the US. My faith in God helps me, the love of my family supports me, and there is a burning light deep within my soul. Added together, those things are what keep me alive. I lean now on the hope that Nietzsche was right, when he stated, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
I have a lot to be thankful for. Yes, I am the “so-and-so” now for a lot of people, when they say, “Hey, we don’t have it as bad as so-and-so!” However, I can still use that phrase, too. There are throngs of people who have it far worse than I do. I am making an effort to think outside of myself now. The inner turmoil, those mental explosions of stress and despair, only result in me demonstrating a negative demeanor to others. That either repulses them or rubs off on them and they mirror my gloomy outlook. Both outcomes are not favorable, and certainly can be avoided by a mere change in my behavior. I’ve read that changing one’s behavior on the outside can change one’s thinking on the inside. It is the mantra of the myriad of motivational speakers in the world now and in the past. So, there must be some truth to it, mustn’t there?