Please be advised that the following entry contains subject matter of a graphic nature. If such things offend you, I advise against reading it.
Have you ever seen someone who is just plain gross, a hideous wreck from head to toe? I had a blind date once with a woman who could be described as such, but that’s a different story. Lately, I have come to the realization that I am someone who is in that category, too. The truth be told, I can go from head to toe and point out problems with every part of my body. It wasn’t always like that, though.
The best shape of my life was when I was a missionary, at the age of 19 through 21. I was lean and fit then, due to a seven-month period when I rode my bicycle daily. I spent around eight hours each day, pedaling that thing from one discussion to another. In addition to that, I ate well then. My diet consisted mainly of fruits and vegetables. I ate almost no fast food of any kind. As time passed, I grew less active and ate more junk food. I am now about sixty pounds over my ideal weight. Sadly, my physical maladies don’t stop there. As I stated before, I am a wreck from head to toe.
Starting at my head, I have a lot of imperfections. Most apparent is the fact that my head is too big. It isn’t in proportion to my body. Also, it isn’t symmetrical. My nose curves a bit to my right side, and my left eye droops more than my right eye.
Along with acne, I battled dandruff throughout my teens. It was then that I began using Head and Shoulders shampoo. I still use that brand, complementing it with others on occasion. Once in a while, I get a sudden occurrence of dandruff or acne. Luckily, it goes away in a day or two.
My hair began going gray when I was sixteen years old. It has been a slow process, though. I’m about 50/50 with dark brown hair now. About a year ago, I developed some rough and itchy skin on the back of my scalp and behind my ears. Thinking it was seborrheic dermatitis, I went and saw a dermatologist. She told me it was because my skin was too thin and dry there. She gave me some lotion to apply daily, and it went away until the lotion was gone. Now, I have the same condition. I will see a dermatologist tomorrow and get some more of that lotion. It itches a lot!
My left ear is frequently aching and often infected. There is a lot of buildup of wax that I think contributes to it. As with most of my physical problems, this is something that has come on in recently. I get my ears cleaned once a month when I get a haircut, but that doesn’t help the frequent infections. The outer part of my left ear has a problem, too. There is a small knot on the edge of it that has always been there. My right ear doesn’t have that problem but does get a lot of wax buildup, too.
My eyes are very bad. A couple of years ago, the optometrist told me I needed two pairs of glasses. I now have one pair for seeing things up close and one pair for seeing things far away. I’m lazy, so I wear the ones for seeing things up close. I probably should get bifocals. There was a time when I was considering laser surgery because I have astigmatism, but I opted not to get it. I didn’t trust the doctor who was going to do the procedure. I could have sought out a different doctor, but I didn’t want to go through the hassle. I cope with wearing glasses now.
The color of my eyes is blue. I like that, but I wish they were a pure blue color. They’re not. They are very light blue, tending a bit toward hazel. Also, there are specks of brown pigment in them. I once wore dark blue contact lenses that made my eyes look better, but they caused a lot of strain on my eyes. They were the hard kind of contacts because I couldn’t wear soft ones due to my astigmatism. I believe that they make soft contact lenses now for people with astigmatism, but that is the least of my problems, so I don’t bother.
I have developed some super-small bumps on my facial skin. Undoubtedly, this is due to aging. It still bothers me, though. When I saw the dermatologist that I mentioned earlier, I had her freeze some of the bumps with liquid nitrogen. They were gone, but others took their place. I may ask about them tomorrow when I see another dermatologist. In addition to the bumps, I have wrinkles. Again like most of my physical abnormalities, they developed recently. I don’t think they are incredibly noticeable to others, but they are to me.
Although I don’t have excessive ear hair, I do have problems with nose hair. This problem has been with me since puberty. From time to time, I use a nose hair trimmer to get rid of this problem, but I’m not too diligent in doing that. I’ve had friends that had excessive nose hair, and I remember thinking how gross it was. I must make an effort to use my nose hair clipper more regularly. At least that is a problem I can do something about and with minimal effort.
The main reason I am going to the dermatologist tomorrow is that of a sore I have on the left side of my mouth, on my lower lip. It has been there for nearly two months, and I’m confused as to why it hasn’t gone away. I guess it is a cold sore, but it doesn’t look like ones I’ve had in the past. Yes, I’ve suffered from cold sores all my life. They were horrible while going through puberty, occurring once every two months or so. Then, I began taking Acyclovir when I felt one coming on and haven’t had many outbreaks since. This current one, if it is indeed one, is perplexing. It just won’t go away!
Last year, I was diagnosed with periodontal disease by a periodontist. It was so bad that I had to have a tooth extracted, my upper right incisor (#8) to be exact. I feel like such a wimp in stating this, but having that tooth removed was quite a traumatic ordeal for me. Ever since, I’ve had to wear an uncomfortable partial one-tooth denture. I’m waiting for the bone mass to grow in my gum so I can have a post put in for a fake tooth. That process is long and expensive. Who knows when, and if, it will be done?
Because I am overweight, I don’t have much of a jawline. I don’t have a double-chin, but I do have some drooping fat there. What makes it worse is my long neck. I’ve always had an abnormally long neck to go with my huge head. Quite hideous!
Moving down to my shoulders, I have to say I have some significant problems there. I have broken both clavicles, each one from a separate auto accident. While the left one has completely healed, it is in a jagged line. The right one is still healing, with a metal bar screwed to it so that it will be a straight line. However, along with the operation to insert the bar came an unsightly scar. I joked about it, wishing the doctor had made it a jagged scar instead of a straight one. At least that way I could look manlier like I got attacked by a shark while surfing or something. Anyway, I’ll have to go through surgery again (probably in August) to remove the bar.
From below my neck down, there are freckles on my skin. I’ve had them my whole life. But what I haven’t had is problems with skin dryness. Only recently have I needed to use lotion to keep my skin moisturized. Otherwise, it would crack and possibly bleed. In the middle of my chest, there is a small bump that I’ve had for several years. I have had it frozen off in the past, like the facial bumps I mentioned earlier, but it reappears. I’ll see about that tomorrow, too.
I didn’t intend this self-deprecating entry to be a two-parter, but I can see that it is getting quite lengthy. So, I’ll have to continue it in a part 2.