Long Overdue Update

It has been over two months since my last weblog entry. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back and document the happenings of that period. So, I’ll give a summation here and now.

I spent a wonderful month in the United States at my parents’ house. Chief among the positive experiences there was seeing my sons, Billy and Tyley. I knew I would miss them before they even left, but Shu Mei had already decided to venture ahead two months before me. I never fully realized just how much I’d miss them, though. I was thrilled beyond belief when I stepped off the airplane in Salt Lake City, exited the concourse, and saw their bright smiling faces. They ran up to me and gave me hugs. I picked both of them up, and tears ran down my face as I felt the love between us. I never wanted to let go of them, but they had stories to tell me, and I set them back down so they could go at it. Each of them spoke about their activities in the US the preceding two months. I listened intently, as we walked to the baggage area to retrieve my luggage.

Regrettably, I wasn’t so thrilled to see my wife, Shu Mei. There had been a lot of bad blood between us the last time we saw each other, and some heated arguments after she left, via Skype. I did hope things would get better after seeing a family therapist. Luckily, they did. Together we spent some sessions with a lifelong friend of my parents, John Harris. John is a career therapist and helped us work on a few of the significant problems in our relationship. We have a great need to continue therapy, but as yet have not done so. We have some financial constraints which prohibit us from doing so.

I got to spend time with my parents, sisters, and brother. Out of them, I spent most of my time with my parents, dividing it equally between my father and mother. My father has been having some health problems recently, having developed diabetes a few years ago. He isn’t as agile as he once was. My mother is also feeling her age. Both of them are in their 70’s and have had a life full of adventures. Having lived in many places throughout the US, along with a year in Thailand, they now feel they’re finally in their last home, in Kaysville.

I got to see my old friend, Jeff Apgood. He was very hospitable to my family and me. He has a wonderful family and is indeed a genuine guy, through and through. My sisters Julie and Kaye help my parents out at their home. Julie often cooks food for them, and Kaye helps out with yard work. My brother lives a few hours away, in Pocatello. I got to visit him on the way to our family’s cabin, in Island Park. He has a big piece of land in a rural area, with three horses. Billy got the opportunity to ride on one of them, and also rode on his 4-wheel ATV. All of my brother’s children are grown up and moved out of his home, save his youngest, Jake. Jake wasn’t there when I visited, but my brother’s wife, Jena, was.

While in America, I participated in too many activities to mention here. Suffice it to say that it was a very active time. The only regret I have is that I didn’t see my son, Cameron. Although I sent him several emails requesting to see him, he didn’t accept my invitation, for some unknown reason. I hope that I will be able to see him next time. I think of him every day, hoping that he is well and happy.

About a month after returning home, I got in a scooter accident. I was driving to church on my scooter, and an old man on a scooter came quickly from a side road in front of me. There was a hedge blocking my view of the side road, so I didn’t see him coming until he was right in front of me. He had a young girl riding with him. The front of my scooter hit the side of his. I went flying through the air and landed on my back on the pavement. The old man and girl fell off of their scooters. I thought I was going to die, as I lay there gasping for breath. I remember thinking that at any time I would start tasting blood in my mouth and then I would die like it happens in the movies. However, I didn’t.

As I lay there, I could hear the young girl sobbing. It seemed like a very long time before someone came up to me. All I could do is say the Chinese words for 119, which is the equivalent of 911 (emergency call) in the US. Eventually, someone called, and an ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital. Again, I don’t want this entry to go on forever, so I’ll spare further details of my accident. I must say that I am on the mend, having suffered seven broken bones because of it. The accident caused four broken ribs, a fractured clavicle, a broken arm, and two crushed vertebrae (i.e., a broken back, but not severe enough to paralyze me).

My biggest worry now, aside from my pain from the scooter accident (another three months healing time), is the state of my relationship with Shu Mei. As I stated, finances have gotten tight, due primarily to unforeseen medical costs, and counseling sessions are not affordable right now. Without a family therapist, our marriage might be doomed. We are pretty much in the same boat that we were in before the trip to the US. I know how not to make Shu Mei unhappy, but I don’t know how to make her happy. So, we’re just treading water until we can afford counseling. It is a sad situation.

I don’t want to leave this entry on a sad note, so I’ll relate something that I learned just a few days ago. Cameron sent me an email that told me his girlfriend is pregnant with their baby! Even though they are young, I was pleased to get the news. I wrote him back, congratulating him on the wonderful happening, and asked if I might be a part of his child’s life, as its grandfather. He replied that I could be. I was delighted to hear that and look forward to spending time with his child. This event will surely let Cameron know what it is to be a father and feel unconditional love for a child. Hopefully, that realization will bring us closer as a father and son, something I’ve hoped and prayed for for many years.

One comment

  1. Congratulations! You are going to be a grandpa. That’s really amazing! I hope everything will go well with you and your family, including the preceding one in States! See you around, mi bueno amigo! I look forward to seeing you on every Sunday at church. Keep choosing the right, buddy.

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