Recently, I came across the myspace.com page of my son, Cameron. I forgot that I had set up a page there as well. (I had done so at the request of a friend, Rose Ravasco.) After signing in, I sent Cameron a message telling him that I will be in America this summer and would love to see him. I followed it up several days later, giving him my parents’ address and phone number because that is where I’ll be staying. It is within proximity of where he is, or at least where he was the last time I communicated with him. Unfortunately, Cameron never replied to either of those messages.
Finally, last week I sent another message to him. In that message, I said that I didn’t understand why he hadn’t replied. Myspace.com posts when a user last logged on, and he had clearly logged on after my messages were sent. So, he had to have read them. I told him that if he didn’t want to see me, for some unknown reason, he could at least see his grandparents. My mom and dad won’t be around forever, and they have also missed Cameron’s presence all these years. Just because he may not want to see me doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see them. After all, they’re his grandparents.
Also, my wife and sons are there now. I related to Cameron that I had often spoken about him to Billy (4) and Tyley (2). At the last visitation I had with Cameron, which was a very short one (per his mother’s mandate), Billy met him. However, that was three years ago, and Billy doesn’t remember much about his older brother. Tyley wasn’t even born yet, so he has never seen his brother, Cameron. Now, I figure that Cameron would undoubtedly want to see his two brothers. I remember that he was close to his sister, Amber. That’s mainly because he grew up with her and had to help take care of her. However, that doesn’t make Billy and Tyley any less of his siblings than her. They share one of his parents, just as Amber does. Fate just had them raised in a different household, that’s all. I’m certain that Cameron would instantly fall in love with Billy and Tyley, as they’re outstanding boys, all three of them.
Having not heard anything back from Cameron, I rechecked his myspace.com page to see when he last logged on. To my surprise, the page was closed. It said that it was either removed per the user’s request or because of a violation, with no further details provided. Of course, I got worried again, similar to how I did when I learned Cameron’s mother had disconnected their phone number and canceled her yahoo.com email account. At that time, I had no way of contacting Cameron, except through those two links. When she closed them down, Cameron’s mother left me with no way to reach him. I’m nearly there again, with nothing left but an email address, one which he doesn’t reply to. I’m not even sure if he read the messages I sent there. This was before I discovered his myspace.com page, which is dead now, as I stated before, and is a moot point. Oh, this is so frustrating!
Before Cameron’s page went down, I read some public comments he had exchanged with a girl on myspace.com. She goes by the name Ashley there and is Cameron’s real-life girlfriend. I thought, good for him! Love is such a beautiful thing. I hope it works out for the two of them. Anyway, after Cameron’s page went down, I contemplated contacting this Ashley.
I pondered the pros and cons of sending such a message. It was the only way I could try and reach him, and I felt I should take the risk. So, I wrote Ashley a message, leaving all the aforementioned info with her, too. I told her that I would never write to her again unless she invited me to do so. I respect Cameron’s wishes. He’s an adult now, and if he doesn’t want to communicate with me, that’s his decision. And, if he doesn’t want to see his aging grandparents or his sweet younger brothers, he will have to live with that decision. I’m sure he won’t regret it because when you don’t know the happiness that comes from having a relationship with your grandparents or brothers, like Cameron hasn’t known, you won’t feel bad by rejecting that opportunity when it arises. It’s like if I never ate Mango ice cream (my favorite!), I wouldn’t miss it. However, I also would never know the sweet taste of that heavenly ice cream flavor. Yummy!
Last, but not least, I will not attempt to contact Cameron when I’m in Utah. He has had plenty of forewarning that I will be there, coupled with several invitations to spend some time with me. There is nothing I’d rather do in America than see my son, Cameron, but I will respect his wishes and not “bug” him. The ball is in his court. In fact, he still has a few days left to see my parents and his brothers, before I get there. I am due there on the 28th of this month. I’d love to see him, most definitely, but I also think it is important for him to see my parents and sons. I fear he won’t make an effort to do either. Sad, but that’s up to him. The ball is in his court.