One small ray of hope was shining this morning, as we all went to Church. Shu Mei said in the car, “I’m sorry.” I said, “What!? I can’t remember you ever saying those words.” “I have said them many times,” She responded, “You just didn’t hear them.” “Maybe you said them in your mind,” I said, “But, I don’t remember them ever coming out of your mouth. Anyway, what are you sorry for?” I couldn’t think of which thing she was referring to, out of the million things for which she should be sorry. “For making Billy breathe.” She replied. “‘Breathe’?” I asked. “With the diabetes thing.” She said. “Oh, BLEED,” I corrected, “Yes, it was a bad thing to do.” “I know,” Shu Mei said, “But he deserved it!” Well, at least she got the “I know” part right. She was still trying to justify her actions, which showed me that she had not entirely made the transition into realizing her physical punishment of the boys had gone into the realm of physical abuse. Still, her apology was a step in the right direction, even if the apology was given to the wrong person.
Maybe this trip will help Shu Mei bond with the boys and help mend some of those emotional scars she has caused. At least she is going to be forced to act civilly towards them, as she has done whenever Mom and Dad are around. I hope and pray that she will understand that acting positively is much more productive than the contrary.
I’m still unsure as to the timetable of everything regarding the US trip, as she guards what her action plan is like it is an issue of national security.