I don’t know what to do. This crap with Shu Mei is really bumming me out. I try to stay positive, to force myself to be happy, but it just isn’t working. There was a long period of time that I loathed coming home after a day at work, knowing what was in store for me upon arriving, but that seemed to pass – for a short period. Now, I’m back in the doldrums, hating every moment that I have HER to deal with.
It seems that no matter how positive I get myself, she manages to bring me down with her hateful words. The only solace I have is the fact that she doesn’t speak to me much. I have actually grown fond of not sleeping in the same bed as she does. At first, after my parents left and she began sleeping in the boys’ room, I was offended. Now, I’m thankful that I don’t have to put up with her guttural snoring and putting her dirty feet on my legs.
And boy, do we disagree! Even the child rearing has become a point of discontent between us. For example, we agreed (a rarity) that we wouldn’t spank or hit Billy and Tyley. Instead, we would put them in timeout when they misbehaved. That was only two days ago. Today, Shu Mei hit Tyley in the head simply because he got sick after eating her putrid rice. As you know, rice IS the god around here (that, and money) and it is sacrilege to even attempt to not enjoy it. Of course, this only made the vomit come even fiercer and she completely lost it. She got her purse and left, without another word.
Don’t think this is a rare problem. I only have to go back to the day before yesterday to show another example of her ineptitude in dealing with our boys. (By the way, I took care of them yesterday after work, as I always do on Wednesdays – and Fridays, for that matter.) When I came home from my night classes, there was Billy asleep on the couch. He only had a thin blanket covering him and it was cold. No heater, of course. (Heaven forbid that we use precious electricity to run the heater! No, not when there are stocks to buy and extra-life insurance policies to acquire!)
Shu Mei was in using her computer, most likely researching some harebrained idea as usual. (I didn’t tell you how I took care of Billy and Tyley all day Saturday, whilst she sat downstairs at an open house for her school, an open house that attracted zero people.) I asked her why Billy was sleeping on the couch. She said that she couldn’t deal with him anymore. She said she didn’t want to see him or talk to him again. And, she wanted him to sleep with me, instead of in his room, which he did.
Throughout the night, Billy was tossing and turning, probably having nightmares about his monstrosity of a mother spewing forth her insulting words. He woke up early and turned to me and said, “Daddy. Mommy said she isn’t my mommy anymore.” My heart sank, because I know just how cruel Shu Mei can be with her words. And to say that to a four-year-old, let alone your own son at any age, is inexcusable. I told Billy that Mommy was mad at him and sometimes people say things they don’t really mean when they are mad. I assured him that she really did want to be his mommy and he should try to always obey her, then she won’t be so mad.
You know, people have to have open minds in this day and age and Shu Mei is no exception. Her obsession with how Billy takes too long to eat is really making it bad for everyone. Again tonight, Billy wouldn’t eat his rice mixture as quickly as Shu Mei wanted him to. I admit, he does take a long time to eat, sometimes a couple of hours. But, who cares!? Either she gives him food that he likes, or she should chill out. Frankly, I wish she (and her mother) would get off this force-feeding rice frenzy and give both of the boys food they eat willingly. For example, they love all fruits and most vegetables.
Maybe Billy is a natural vegetarian. I know that goes against my meat-and-potatoes philosophical upbringing, but I’m willing to expand my horizons. I’ve always believed that people are healthier if they have some meat in their diet. But, I know a lot more sickly meat eaters than I do vegetarians, I being one of them. The point is that there are millions of vegetarians who do just fine and live to a healthy old age. Maybe Billy can do that. I mean, that’s the kind of food he wants and he certainly eats it quickly and willingly. So, why force-feed him rice, fish, and meat mixtures that he doesn’t want and makes him throw up frequently? Tyley is the same way, especially tonight, when it comes to that rice mixture stuff. It simply doesn’t agree with either of them.