I finally received information as to my son’s whereabouts. I must admit that I’m receiving this secondhand, so I’m not certain as to its truth. However, I got it through loved ones, my mother and niece, and they have no reason to change the facts. So, I tend to believe it, no matter how far fetched it sounded.
My niece Ericka went to my son’s last-known residence several times during the weekend, but nobody was home. Then, she went there on Tuesday and met with my ex-wife, Tara. Tara told her that they had been out of town.
Tara said that the reason she had her phone disconnected and her email account closed was because of me! She said that someone that knows me had been calling her on the phone and saying bad things. She said that they were also sending her email messages containing information that only she and I would know. Tara went on to say that I have degrading things on my website about her and that Cameron has read them. According to her, I am to blame for her cutting the lines of communication – once again, staying true to her never-changing character.
What better place to address these disparaging remarks than here? Well, first and foremost, I doubt that this is the reason she had her phone disconnected and email account closed. I tend to believe she has serious credit problems, again. You see, some people change and some people stay the same. When Tara and I were married, we had serious credit problems. We over-extended ourselves. I cannot speak for her, though I’m fairly certain she would tell you it was my entire fault, but that’s simply not true. We were both to blame. I learned from those mistakes of the past and have strived not to repeat them. Except for a loan for my new house, I have been debt-free for several years. I’m not rich, by any means, but I do pay my bills and I don’t buy anything on credit.
Just hearing these things brings to my mind several incidents where Tara sought to blame me for her problems. I’ll get more to that later, but suffice it to say that she is notorious for this. I mean, here I am on the other side of the world, having not spoken to her in more than two years (and even then it was for less than a minute), and I haven’t the foggiest idea of what she is up to or if she is even living in the same place, and she says I am to blame for her persecution? What a crock! Yes, I have put disparaging remarks about her on my website, but none of it is untrue and it is really just the tip of the iceberg. I had intended, and still do, to document most of the major occurrences between us that affected my relationship (or lack thereof) with my son, Cameron.
I think it is great that he has read my remarks about his mother! I hope he continues to read them in the future as I build a true picture of her, one from my level-headed perspective, rather than the grotesque one she has undoubtedly drawn of me over the years. If he doesn’t want to know the truth and chooses to go on living in the bubble his mother has created around him, he is free to do so. My responsibility, as his loving father, is to make it available to him, just as I have made myself available to him from the get-go.
I just cannot help but wonder about the whole phone accusation Tara made. I have no idea how it is possible that someone I know has called her about me, even once. I, myself, have spoken to her no more than half a dozen times at that number during the past decade! And, I certainly have not given it out to anybody. As I recall, Tara told me she had the number unlisted, because of bill collectors. So, I never gave it out to anyone. I mean, why would I? It has always been my hope that Cameron would actually want to have a relationship with me and communicate with me, by phone and other means. Why would I jeopardize that by giving her number out to one of my friends?
And what of “my friends”? Let me tell you, I really don’t have any friends that would give a whit about my relationship with my ex-wife, or even with Cameron for that matter. I haven’t had any real close friends since college. And, I have absolutely no communication with those friends! I am a loner, through and through. So, for someone to claim they are my friend and harass Tara on my behalf is just difficult for me to believe. If there is someone who did this, as she claims, I am definitely not involved. And, I think this individual better rethink what he or she is doing, as it does me a disservice. Those alleged actions that he or she did were both unscrupulous and injudicious. I stand against that kind of behavior.
Regarding the disparaging remarks on this website, I have offended more than just my ex-wife with things on here. I don’t receive much traffic for it to be a large problem, but some people who I have commented on have voiced their disapproval. I have invited those individuals to leave their comments on the entries they find offensive, giving their side of the story. However, they have been fearful of doing that. Instead, they just continue to ask me to take it off the internet. Such is the way with the truth. I say let it stand as is. That is one of the major reasons I began this website in the first place, to reveal myself (complete with my many flaws) to the world. And, a big part of that intent was for my son, Cameron, to read them. So, this news of him reading my comments (if it is true) comes to me as a big thrill.
Tara also told Ericka that he, Cameron, knows where to get a hold of me if he needs me. Of course, this was meant as a “Don’t call him, he’ll call you” decree, but that is how it has been for quite sometime, so nothing has changed there. I’m just happy to know where he is and that he is okay. The news about him reading my website was just a great bonus. Now, I’m really going into detail about how our estrangement came about! One reader commented that he felt there was a lot of “angst” in my weblog entries. Well, he ain’t seen nothin’ yet! The appropriate entries will be timestamped to their past approximate dates, so they won’t appear on the weblog’s frontpage.
By the way, Cameron if you’re reading this I would love to hear from you. I miss you deeply and have felt not quite whole since we parted. I often look at your pictures I have displayed here in my office (taken when you were very young) and hope that you are alright. I wish things had been better for you growing up and would have made it different, if I knew then what I know now. I will always love you, Cameron.