Deep Sorrow

There is an ever-present feeling of sadness that surrounds me. I have managed to keep it at bay, for the most part, lest it should take over and impede my ability to function. I know that situation all too well, having suffered from depression during my first marriage. My wife then, Tara, wasn’t a bit understanding of my situation. I’m pretty confident that my wife now, Shu Mei, would be of the same mindset.

You see, unless you’ve actually been clinically depressed or studied about it, you really cannot understand it. To those people who are unfamiliar with its causes and cures, it simply looks like laziness in need of a swift butt-kicking. In reality it is everything but that. The depressed person has great desire to do things, even more than the non-depressed person, but there is a blocking of the neurotransmitters in his or her brain that separates the desire from the action. Nagging and complaining to a depressed person only leads to an increased blockage, brought about from the stress caused by that negative behavior, and deepens the depression.

I would imagine that intense psychological help in the form of daily counseling sessions could bring a person out of a depression, maybe, but proper medication stands a better chance of doing it more quickly and thoroughly. The drug that helped me get out of my depression is called Prozac. It took a couple of months for it to take affect, but after it did I was right as rain. Sadly, my ex-wife didn’t realize it was the medication that had helped me. She was of the mindset that all her nagging helped me start to act. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It was her nagging that prolonged the depression unnecessarily. And, I’m pretty sure the nagging was a big contributing factor in the onset of the depression in the first place. Nagging is simply a way of adding fuel to the fire of a clinically depressed person. It sends him or her farther into depression.

So, knowing firsthand about depression has helped me avoid it since that time. I don’t let myself become overly stressed. I take the philosophy that it is all small stuff, so I shouldn’t sweat it. That helps get me through the day, on a day-to-day basis.

Still, I do get pretty sad.

One comment

  1. I wonder what your subconscious is trying to tell you with the feeling of sadness.

    You might want to feel your sadness enough so that you can get some wisdom from your subconscious about your life’s problems.


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