Amusing Answers

Contained in this post is a list of answers to some “How (blank) was (blank)?” questions. The idea for this post came from the “Yo Momma Jokes” I’ve heard throughout the years. I’ll add to these as I get others.

bad … the food
the dog had to lick his ass to take the taste out of his mouth.
—–
confused … he
he didn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his ass.
—–
dirty … house
I had to wipe my feet before I went outside.
—–
fat … she
when I got on top of her my ears popped.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
when she got on a scale, it read “One at a time, please”.
when she went to the beach the tide came in.
she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
when she laid out on the beach no one else got sun.
she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
she had more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
her senior pictures had to be arial views.
whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
—–
hairy … she
her baby almost died of rugburn at birth.
she looked like she had Buckwheat in a headlock.
Bigfoot was taking HER picture.
they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower.
—–
hot … it
the birds had to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
—–
lazy … he
he got a remote control just to operate the remote control.
he thought a two-income family was where his wife got two jobs.
if he had had a third hand he would have needed another pocket to put it in.
—–
old … he
I told him to act his own age and he died.
his social security number was 1.
when he was in school, there was no history class.
his birth certificate said “Expired” on it.
he knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
he was a waiter at the last supper.
—–
poor … he
his family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
—–
short … she
she posed for trophies.
you could see her feet on her driver’s license.
she had to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she could do backflips under the bed.
—–
skinny … she
she had to stand up twice to make a shadow.
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she had to wear a belt with spandex.
she hoola-hooped with a Cheerio.
—–
small … house
you had to go outside to eat a large pizza.
—–
stinky … he
he made Speed Stick slow down.
he made Right Guard turn left.
he had to creep up on bathwater.
he made an onion cry.
—–
stupid … he
he got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
he sold his car for gas money.
when you stood next to him, you heard the ocean.
he sat on the TV, and watched the couch.
—–
ugly … she
when she walked into a bank, they turned off the surveillence cameras.
her mother had to hang a steak around her neck so the dog to play with him.
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
that if ugly were bricks she’d have had her own projects.
they paid her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
for Halloween she trick-or-treated on the phone.
she turned Medusa to stone.

If you know of any funny ones, please feel free to leave a comment and I’ll add them to the list.

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