San Diego Zoo

After my divorce from my first wife, Tara, I rarely had visitation with my son from that marriage, Cameron. This was not by choice in the least. I struggled to get frequent visitation with him, taking his mother to court on several occasions. Still, she denied me from seeing him. Through time, it only got worse. She built me up, in her mind, to be some great horrific monster. She told a court judge that she was fearful of what would happen to Cameron if she allowed visitation to occur. The judge knew better, though, and ordered Tara to follow through with the established visitation schedule. She never did.

The truth was quite the opposite of what Tara tried to make it out to be. On the few times that I saw Cameron, he enjoyed it immensely. In fact, he always told me that he didn’t want to go back home. He liked spending time with me, once he was with me, but those occasions became less frequent as time passed on. Each rare visitation I had with him, it took longer for him to open up to me. I sensed he was drifting away from me, and it saddened me deeply. I yearned for a closer relationship with him, but there was nothing I could do to get his mother to cooperate with that wish.

Maybe I should have gone through with the custody battle and gained custody over him. I feel now that he would have been better off being raised by me, but at the time I was concerned about taking him being away from his mother. Stupidly, I had faith that she was raising him up in the correct manner. Years later, I found out that there were a lot of problems I wasn’t aware of.

This is a video I took of the last visitation I had with Cameron for many years. I was living in Gilbert, Arizona at the time. I flew Cameron to Arizona and we flew together, along with my mother, to San Diego, for the day. Cameron wanted to go to the zoo, so I took him to what I consider the best zoo in the US. Little did I know at the time of this video that I wouldn’t see him again until he was fourteen years old! (And, even that visitation was for just a couple of days.) Man, if I could go back… what I would change! The past weighs heavily upon me.

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