One of my main reasons for beginning a weblog several years ago was to reach out to my son, Cameron Iverson. Recently, the company that hosted my site disappeared, along with all my weblog posts. As of this date, I haven’t figured out if it is possible to retrieve them from somewhere. For now, I am relegated to begin anew.
The title of this post is my son’s name. He was named after a fictitious spaceship captain I made up in my mind to help me fall asleep at night. The character, Cameron Hudd, developed a long history as a story progressed in my mind each time I lay down to fall asleep at night. Even now, I dream about him periodically, as I do with a few other characters I made up as a child. (One of them, Billy West, is the richest man in the world and the secret identity of a superhero, Mighty Man. I named my second son after him.) It helps me fall asleep at night, focusing on something besides the worries of the preceding day.
I currently live in West Point, Utah, with my other two sons, Billy and Tyley. Tyley was not named after an imaginary character of mine. I wanted him to be (Western Kid, a cowboy gunslinger), but his Taiwanese mother wouldn’t allow it. She said that the name Kyley sounded good in Mandarin, and it had the same second syllable character as Billy, which is common amongst siblings in that culture. I researched the name and discovered it is nearly always a female’s name in English, though. Consequently, we altered it slightly to Tyley.
My current wife and I are separated. She left us last year, returning to Taiwan. Our fate as a family is in flux right now, and I don’t know if we’ll end up getting back together. For several reasons, the boys have adapted well to the situation. I won’t go into them right now but might do so in another post.
Before moving to Utah, we lived together as a family in Taiwan for eight and a half years. The two boys were born there and became fluent in Mandarin. Sadly, with peer influence being stronger than parental influence, they have lost that fluency in the past six years we’ve been here.
A few months before moving here, an undisclosed person close to Cameron contacted me because of what I’d written about Cameron on my weblog. Through email, that person told me that Cameron had said I had blown two out of three chances he’d given me. I had (and still have) no idea what the person was talking about. Questioning it led to an email message from Cameron himself. (It had been a long time since I had heard from him.) I was elated to be back in contact with my son. The situation was short-lived, though, as there was only one more message from him after that. In that final message, he said that he would allow me to see him, his girlfriend, and his new baby, Benjamin, when I came to Utah. Even though I sent multiple messages back, saying how excited I was, I never heard from him again.
Shortly after arriving in Utah, I paid for an online service to try and locate Cameron. The service produced three different addresses in Utah. I have always respected his privacy, so I didn’t physically investigate the addresses. It has been difficult, knowing that he could be less than an hour away, but I leave the choice of contacting me up to him. I think that I would prefer it that way if I were him. Instead, I hand-wrote three different letters and mailed them to each of the addresses. Each letter was unique but contained a plea for him to contact me, complete with my address and phone number. It didn’t work. He never contacted me.
I have no idea why Cameron never contacted me. We always had a great relationship. Perhaps it was because his mother put negative thoughts in his head about me throughout the years, making me out to be a terrible person. I’m not sure, though. Certainly, I wasn’t a good husband to her, but my behavior wasn’t bad enough to warrant her keeping him from me. I went into some detail about this in my previous incarnation of a weblog. I won’t do it again here. First, I still hope to retrieve those previous posts and rebuild this weblog. Second, being closer to the actual time of the happenings, they are more accurate than I could be now.
Last, but certainly not least. I am reaching out to Cameron here, hoping that he might somehow read this. It would be good for his two brothers and me to see him. Also, his grandmother would love to see him. She lives nearby in Layton, Utah. So, Cameron, if you are reading this, please contact me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. I would love to hear from you.