I sure wish I knew if I am a grandfather or not. It has been over three months since my son, Cameron, last wrote to me. I have written to him three times after that. He wrote that he and his girlfriend were due to have a baby on May 21, 2008. That date came and went without a word from Cameron and I’m very curious to know if I have a grandson. I can only assume that I do, given the information Cameron gave me more than three months ago. Sadly, it isn’t starting out to be the grandfather/grandson relationship I envisioned. For some strange reason, entirely incomprehensible to me at this time, Cameron continues to maintain a cloak of secrecy.

Initially, I thought his penchant for privacy was brought on by his mother’s influence. She has been that way for many years, too. Her influence must have definitely rubbed off on Cameron and now he has a habit of just not projecting himself out to the world. I know some of the reasons behind his mother’s desire to remain anonymous. Being known for malevolent actions is not a good thing, especially if one is trying for a career as an elementary school teacher. I’m not getting into mud-slinging in this entry. I’ve made mention of some of Tara’s illegal, immoral, and unethical actions in other entries. The point is that Cameron, at the age of 19, should now be his own person.

Cameron is now a grown man. He should be beginning to see that the world is actually very different from how his mother views it. Cameron should have the ability now to make a decision and take control of his own life. He doesn’t have to ostracize his mother to do that. I encourage him to maintain a loving relationship with his mother, for she has sacrificed a lot over the years to raise him. Maybe she didn’t raise him in the best way possible. Maybe she didn’t even raise him in the best way she knew. But, she did raise him and that is far more than I can say for myself. Because I thought Cameron would be better off with his mother than with me, I made the bad decision to drop a custody battle I could have easily won.

Now, Cameron is left with the task of putting the missing pieces of his life together on his own. I am confident he can do it. Even though I spent little more than his first three years as his day-to-day father, I knew then what I still know now: Cameron is a very gifted person. He is considerate, dependable, kind, and has moral integrity. Also, he was a very curious youngster. This translates to being a risk-taker later on in life, which is a great character trait of a leader. I always felt that Cameron would grow up to be some kind of leader. Having said that, I really don’t want him to be pressured by any of his great natural gifts. From personal experience of being pressured by my own parents into living up to potential, I learned it’s not a good thing to do to my own children. I just wish for Cameron to be happy. I have no expectations beyond that. Honestly, should anything ever take precedence over that? Cameron’s happiness is of paramount importance to me.

I hope that Cameron can cut the apron strings and understand that it is time to move on and start learning things about the world on his own. I hope that his girlfriend will be a good influence on him, giving him some serious sit-downs, hear-to-heart time, and telling him that it is time to focus on his relationship with her, not his mother.

I think that Cameron will be alright in the end. He will see that communicating with me can only be a good thing. He will also see that having a relationship with his grandparents, my parents, can serve him well. He has to act fast, though, as none of us are getting any younger. I pray for his daily success and wish him well in all the challenges that he encounters. Life is a series of tests. Maybe Cameron won’t pass all of them, but I’m confident that he’ll pass the ones that are the most meaningful. I love him very much and think about him daily. I guess that will never change. How could it? My love for Cameron is eternal.

My nose knows no bounds when it comes to smells. I’m like a human Bloodhound. Because of that, I am hyper-sensitive to bad odors. I have almost vomited on more than a few occasions when I pass by someone who has a foul smell. In addition to that, I tend to judge someone by their smell, and use this to decide whether he or she is worthy of my friendship. How people smell is something that they can control and it is a good indicator of how well they take care of themselves.

I understand that everyone is going to have a time or two when they have body odor. However, B.O. shouldn’t be an ongoing thing. It is something that is controllable, if a person does what is necessary. Having stated that, my feelings on the subject, I have to tell you that body odor is a big problem in certain societies, namely the one in which I am living in right now. Here in Taiwan, smelling bad isn’t something that is seen as a bad thing. It simply isn’t necessary to always try and smell good. I chalk this up to a low set of social skills for the Taiwanese people, as social development isn’t a part of their education on any level. Beyond daily showers, nothing is done about squelching body odor problems here.

On a daily basis, I am literally blasted with others’ foul body smells. Because I am a high school teacher here, in a country that doesn’t have showers for after-PE classes; I experience the terrible ordeal of being in a classroom of up to sixty students who reek from B.O. It just isn’t sweat, either. Although, that makes up the vast majority of the bad smells. It is something beyond that. Without trying to be graphic, I must state that part of the horrid smell comes from other body fluids as well.

Again, this is a problem for me – not them. They are perfectly used to being around the foul smells and see no problem with it. They see no reason to change what they’re doing (or not doing) in order to smell better. It is customary for Taiwanese to take showers at night, and then sleep in their beds, sweating until morning (because most of them don’t use air-conditioning). In that manner, they arrive at school in the morning, already beginning to stink. Also, things like deodorants, anti-perspirants, and perfumes are never used. Furthermore, when I spray an air-freshener in my classroom, they complain that it smells bad. Quite the contrary, as they are what smells bad. They’re just too used to their own stenches to realize that the other smells, of vanilla, roses, or jasmine, are actually pleasant.

I hope that behaviors will change here with time. I would like to see a nice-smelling citizenry here in Taiwan. Their neighbors to the north, the Japanese, are very focused on smelling good. It would serve Taiwan well to learn from Japan’s example. A little social education, if implemented correctly, would do wonders here.

As with many things in my life, I discovered the joys of teaching by chance. I dabbled a bit in corporate training in my previous career, giving pre-shift briefings to customer service representatives at the airlines. I found that part of my job enjoyable. The happiness wasn’t to the extent of what I now feel, though. Being a teacher gives me a sense of fulfillment that I never thought possible before. When I experience seeing a student reflect what I have taught him or her, it thrills me beyond belief. I honestly feel that teaching is the noblest profession.

I hope that I can continue to be a teacher for the rest of my life. Sadly, I fear that financial constraints may prohibit me from doing so, though. There isn’t enough money in it to provide for my family’s future. I must seek other means of support, rather than continuing to just be a teacher. Still, right now, I am honored to be among the noblest, teachers.

Obviously, there are a myriad of websites that offer quotations on nearly every subject in existence. I like the fact that famous people have been quoted throughout history, as it provides me with words of wisdom and inspiration. I frequently visit some of the quotation websites to get a boost of positivity.

Here are a few excellent quotations about teaching that I’ve come across:

“Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.”
-Colleen Wilcox

“The test of a good teacher is not how many questions he can ask his pupils that they will answer readily, but how many questions he inspires them to ask him which he finds it hard to answer”
-Alice Wellington Rollins

“The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple.”
-Amos Bronson Alcott

“If children can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn.”
-Ignacio Estrada

“When you love people and have the desire to make a profound, positive impact upon the world, then will you have accomplished the meaning to live.”
-Sasha Azevedo

“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”
-Chinese Proverb

“You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.”
-Clay P. Bedford

“A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.”
-Thomas Carruthers

If you have any others that you like, please feel free to leave them in a comment. When I die, I would like the word “Teacher” on my headstone. I hope and pray that I can live up to the legacy of being a good teacher.