I have an appointment in two days to see a dermatologist. The reason I’m going there is because of a sore I have on my lip that has been there for nearly two months. It is the oddest thing! It didn’t come on like a cold sore normally does. There was no itchy or tingling sensation in the area before the sore developed. There was no inflammation with the usual redness and swelling. There were no clusters of cold sore vesicles, but rather one big blister that has remained to this day. If it is indeed a cold sore, I wonder why there was no crusting, healing, and post scab that usually come seven to ten days after a cold sore outbreak.

What really irks me is that I have this sore in the first place. As a teenager, I had a cold sore about once every two months. Those times were very embarrassing and I did all I could to avoid being seen. I even went so far as calling in sick, so I wouldn’t be seen by my classmates while I had a cold sore. This embarrassment followed me into my professional life later. Whenever I had a bad cold sore, I used my sick days at work to avoid being seen. I stayed at home. I wouldn’t even go out to the store, preferring to just eat fast food from a drive-through. I just didn’t want to be seen with a hideous cold sore on my lip. Then I learned about Acyclovir.

I first used Acyclovir as an ointment. A doctor told me that it would help reduce the duration a cold sore lasted. It actually seemed to do that, but not by much. It shortened the healing time by no more than a couple of days. Still, that was something, and I eventually got the drug in a pill form, too. I felt that treating the virus from the inside and the outside would prove to give me the best results. Because I started taking the pills as soon as I felt the onset of a cold sore, that itchy or tingling feeling, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I could actually prevent the sores. Contrary to what the doctors at the time were telling me, I learned that by taking a 500 milligram Acyclovir pill when I felt a cold sore coming on, I prevented it from happening, sending the process into remission. Several years later, I began reading online that some doctors had begun prescribing the drug as prevention against the cold sore herpes simplex virus. In other words, the medical community caught up to what I already knew. I realize that this “prevention” didn’t work for everyone, but it was working for more than just me.

For several years, I haven’t had a cold sore. The reason is because I take Acyclovir, 800 milligram tablets, as soon as I feel one coming on. That was working fine, until now. This current one came on quickly, without any warning. As soon as I saw it, I immediately started taking Acyclovir, a lot of it. As the days passed, I noticed that the sore wasn’t going away. Realizing that the Acyclovir hadn’t affected it, I started tapering off of the drug. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve taken only one tablet every other day. I really hope that the doctor I see tomorrow will be able to give me something that will heal the sore. Luckily, it is toward the inside of my lip and isn’t very big. That way, I am able to walk about without people noticing it. I’m only self-conscious of it when I am speaking close to someone, with my mouth being open enough for the person to see. Funny, but at forty-three years old I am still embarrassed of a cold sore, especially because I have so many other physical problems to worry about.

Last week, I got upset at a class I was teaching. The students in the class were not paying attention to what I was saying. Several students even indignantly refused to answer my questions. Actually, they didn’t “refuse” per se; they just pretended to ignore me. I told them that in my country, refusing to acknowledge a question was tantamount to flipping someone the bird and saying, “Fuck you!”

After the class, some of the students went to the administrator’s office and complained that I had used “bad words” in class. Two administration personnel came immediately to the classroom and scolded me, directing me to never repeat what I had said to the students. I agreed. Upon refection of this incident, and after watching a TV show about the current state of education in the world, I got to thinking about what actually happened. You see, the lesson that was taught to the students by this is that people have a right to never be offended. That is a terrible and dangerous lesson to teach.

When I went to school, if a teacher used profanity in class it was not reason for concern from the school administration. In fact, physical education teachers frequently used profane expletives to try and motivate students to achieve more physically. That kind of language was thought to be covered under the Freedom of Speech.

Since that time, schools have been redefined from institutions dedicated to the disinterested pursuit of knowledge to institutions for social change. Well, that’s the definition of a political party. A lot of schools now serve as a training ground for leftists, placing politically correct speech as a learning priority.

This would be alright if the schools were 100 percent private. However, as long as they are receiving subsidies from the government, they should provide the same freedoms of expression as are covered in the country’s constitution. What schools are saying by implementing these codes of special protection and double-standards to women, to aborigines, to gay and lesbian students, is “You are too weak to live with freedom. You are too weak to live with the provisions of our constitution that cover freedom of speech.”

If someone tells you that you are too weak to live with freedom, they have turned you into a child. Subsequently, schools are not adequately preparing students for the life they will encounter after they are on their own. Schools are coddling them and prolonging their childhood, rather than exposing them to the world and preparing them to meet the challenges ahead.

Just because teenager are young doesn’t mean they have to be naïve. In schools, there is a myriad of diversity. There are people of different ethnicities, cultures, backgrounds, opinions, political views attending. There’s going to be conflict. There’s going to be controversy. That’s what makes school worth it. Take that away, and what’s the point? Life lessons are not taught by memorizing tables in a book. And, let’s face it; students spend most of their time in school, so they need to be taught life lessons there. Otherwise, they will be ill-equipped to meet the challenges ahead.

Parents send their children to school so that they will learn things which will help them move up in life. If the schools continue to harbor students within their ideological and politically-motivated cocoons, it will only serve to make them less effective in their lives, rather than more. Consequently, it will lead to the dummying-down of society in general.

Or… maybe I just shouldn’t have used the F-word.

There are enormous gaps between weblog entries. When I began this weblog, I didn’t intend it to be so. I envisioned a continuous flow of ideas and happenings being catalogued online. Sadly, this did not happen and I must confess that I doubt it ever will. It simply isn’t as high of a priority as I once thought it was, or should be.

Rather than try to recap all the things that have occurred since my last weblog entry, I’ll just address what is currently going on in my life. First, and foremost, my wife and I are in marriage counseling. We are going to see a wonderful man, Vaughn, on a weekly basis. I enjoy his method of therapy, as he provides us with processes to solving our problems on our own. We have only seen him four times, but our relationship shows signs of getting better.

Frankly, much of what Vaughn says to Shu Mei is the same as what I’ve been saying to her all along. I guess because it is coming from an expert in the field of relationships, she puts greater faith in it now than when I said it. So, in reality, I am paying money for someone to say the same things I’ve been saying all along. It is worth every penny, though, because our relationship is getting better, albeit at a snail’s pace. It could all still fall apart, but at least now we seem to be heading in the right direction.

I must paraphrase an email message here that I sent to a friend recently, because writing it gave me a burst of self-awareness. In the message, I described how I currently feel about my life. I wrote that I feel my life is neither good nor bad right now. It is just somewhere in the middle. I am just okay.

I went further in the email, stating that I often wonder what the point is, then I look into the eyes of my two sons, Billy and Tyley, and I understand. When they say, “Daddy, I super super love you!” as I’m leaving for work each morning, I feel like I have a purpose in life. When I come home from work each night and they run up to me yelling, “Daddy’s home!” and hug me, I feel like I have a purpose in life… And, when they seem genuinely interested in whatever I am doing, no matter how trivial it is, I feel like I have a purpose in life. That is what makes me smile, both inwardly as well as outwardly.

After sending that message, I came to the realization that I don’t need my life to be good or bad. I am happy with just being okay, as long as I have the love of my sons. However, there is another son who I am concerned about, Cameron. I think of him every day, wondering what he is doing and hoping he is alright. I haven’t heard from him since February. In that message, he stated that he was looking for a place for him and his girlfriend. They are due to have a baby next month.

I hope that Cameron’s girlfriend is doing well and that the pregnancy isn’t too difficult for her. First pregnancies can be tough, as I have witnessed with Cameron’s mother and Shu Mei. Cameron has always been a loving person, so I’m certain he will help his girlfriend through any tough times she may have. I wrote him another message today, asking for an update. Hopefully, I will hear something back from him this time.

I asked him if he would allow me to see his baby, my grandson, if I come to visit America next summer. He said that would be good. Because of unforeseen expenses, it isn’t looking like I’ll be able to afford the trip, though. I’m still trying to swing it, because I really want to see Cameron, his girlfriend, and their new baby boy, but I don’t know. There’s not a lot I can do to earn more money at this point. I may have to just start saving for next year.

It is saddening for my parents, too, because they wanted to see Billy and Tyley this summer. They’re not in the best physical shape of their life, both of them in their mid-seventies, and it would be difficult for them to make the trip to Taiwan. Still, I think they might just do it, if I can’t go there. They really enjoy spending time with the boys. And who wouldn’t!? Those two are a sheer joy, through and through.