Consider yourself forewarned, many of these jokes are sexually explicit in nature. If that sort of thing offends you, I advise against reading them.

I had my tooth pulled today. It was something that I dreaded since making the appointment last week. You see, I saw a dentist about a month ago, because my top left front tooth was loose. After an x-ray, he told me that I needed to see a Periodontist, because it looked like a lot of bone mass had been lost due to periodontal disease.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the hospital to see the Periodontist. I saw one doctor, who referred me to another doctor, on that same day, who referred me to another doctor the next week. Then, last week I saw the fourth doctor in the cavalcade of tooth examiners, who happened to be the Chief Periodontist.

I saw one doctor, who referred me to another doctor, on that same day, who referred me to another doctor the next week. Then, last week I saw the fourth doctor in the cavalcade of tooth examiners, who happened to be the Chief Periodontist. Because he was the chief, I felt that would be the end to switching of doctors. I was wrong. He said I would have to have my tooth extracted and that would be done by yet another doctor.

Today, I went and had a mold initiated of my teeth (both upper and lower, strangely) by another doctor. Then, I saw the tooth-extractor doctor. When I asked her what her title was, she said, “Resident specialist”. This vague response to my query made me even more nervous than I already was. You have to understand that I abhor pain. Yes, everyone does, but I really abhor pain. To me, a paper cut is like having an appendage severed. Yes, I’m a baby. With every doctor I saw, I asked if there was any way that the bone could grow back and my tooth could remain in my head. They all concurred that there was not and that it would have to be removed.

Luckily, I insisted that gas be used before the local anesthesia injection, because I still felt a lot of pain during the procedure. The gas was administered by yet another doctor, some sort of other chief as I recall. She was nice. The tooth-extractor doctor was not. I didn’t feel pain during the actual extraction, but there was some sort of scraping or probing she did afterwards that hurt like hell. She was very bland in her handling of me, never once reassuring me of anything. I wanted to grab her, to let her know I was in pain (I wonder if anyone has ever done that), but I kept my fingers clenched tightly together and endured it.

Now, I have another appointment next Monday. The temporary fake tooth will be put in and I will have to wear it for two or three months before a permanent one can be fitted. All of this done by even more doctors, of course.

Several months ago, a doctor prescribed a drug to me, because I was suffering from insomnia. As is customary for me, I looked up the drug on the internet when I got home, to make sure of what it was. I learned the drug was Rohypnol (FM2 or flunitrazepam). I also learned that the drug is an illegal club drug in America, going by many street names (i.e., “roofies,” “roachies,” “rophies,” “ruffies,” “roofenol,” “roche,” “La Rocha,” “rope,” and “the forget pill.”).

The drug is reported to have the effects of a sleep inducer, an inhibition reducer, and an amnesia generator all rolled up into one little pill. I read that guys slip the pills into girls’ drinks at bars and clubs. Then the guys rape the drugged girls. I was unable to find any articles of this actually happening, but didn’t dispute that it had gone on as there are a lot of lunatics out there. Why someone would actually prey upon an unconscious woman is beyond me. I mean, I always thought rape was violent crime of power and control. What “power and control” does a crazed rapist have over an unconscious victim?

Anyway, I was so frightened by what I read about Rohypnol that I didn’t take the drug. Instead, I endured the insomnia. Luckily, it was a temporary condition and it eventually went away without the aid of medication. I kept the Rohypnol, though. I planned on using it for a future flight to America, to try and sleep on the plane. That way, I could get a jump on jet lag, inducing sleep according to America’s time while en route from here to there.

Last night, I decided to test a Rohypnol, because I had a holiday today and I didn’t know how long the effects of the drug would last. My trip to America is approaching, too. So, I made a plan, to see if the report that amnesia will occur is true. What I did was wrote a little note to myself on my computer, saying the time I took the pill, which was at 9:55 p.m.

Then, I used my MP3 recorder to record myself talking. I talked about everything under the sun. I had read that the drug takes effect within thirty minutes. So, I just kept talking about things. I talked about my feelings about the past, the present, and the future. Being a teacher, I have learned how to lecture for an hour at a time, but this was different. I was really just talking to myself, as the recorder captured my voice. I was afraid that the drug might hit me so hard that I would pass out quickly, so I continued my recording while sitting in bed. I figured that if I passed out, I would at least do it in bed.

One hour passed and I felt no different. Then, another hour passed, and I still didn’t feel any different. Having run out of interesting things to record, I went and surfed the net a bit, catching up on the world news events. This took me about another hour. After that, I went back into the bedroom and listened to Howard Stern on my MP3 player. A little after an hour into his show, I got tired. It wasn’t the kind of tired I feel when I’ve taken a sleeping pill. It was a “it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and this damn pill didn’t do a thing!” kind of tired. So, I turned off the player and went to bed. I slept in until 10:00 a.m.

I have concluded that Rohypnol is bogus, no more effective for anything than a sugar pill. What gets me is that there is this big story about the drug being used as a tool for rapists. That may be true, but it definitely doesn’t have the effect those rapists think it will, which is actually a dangerous thing if you think about it. First, if someone wants to use this drug for the aforementioned perverted uses, then s/he is more apt to follow through with his/her demented plans because s/he believes this drug will have his/her desired results. Second, when s/he sees that the drug didn’t actually work as s/he intended it to, it will make him/her become angry and possibly resort to doing something violent, whereas without the promise of this drug there would have been no devious plans in the first place.

So, why is Rohypnol being touted as having those side effects? I don’t know. But, I do know that government officials who are responsible for getting the information about medications out to the public are far from infallible. My experience with the government’s inaccuracy regarding child support payments is enough to show me they haven’t got a clue. I know, they are two different issues. However, when you’re talking about bureaucracy, they really aren’t. So, how Rohypnol got the misinformation that it has the aforementioned side effects is anyone’s guess. But, I have read that people believe it and, at least in America, it is a club drug selling for a lot of money. I think if you follow the money, you’ll find the answer as to where Rohypnol got its false side effects from, and why Rohypnol is as popular as it is.